It’s not always RAINBOWS & BUTTERFLIES.

This will probably be the last time I’ll be talking about him. Anyway, for the past few months I’ve been hiding my feelings inside a box. I didn’t want other people to know that after all this time, it’s still him. It would hurt my pride if I let them know. But anyway, to hell with my pride. I won’t make this post protected anymore. This time, I’ll let everyone know.

This is to someone you guys know. Ever since Intramurals’07 started, I’ve been starting to like a certain someone. I can’t state his name here since… it might cause a big mess or something. I wouldn’t want that now, would I? Anyway, ever since then, I saw him in a different light. Sure, before I only saw him as another someone. But I don’t know, my feelings keep toying with itself, I suddenly fell for some odd reasons. I can’t exactly say why I liked/loved him in the first place. At first, I thought he was kind, humble and stuff like that. But oh, I was so wrong. He’s the total opposite of that.

…In one school year, he made cry more than 20 times.

He’s just so dense. Not to mention cold. I don’t get him, I really don’t. I’m here in arms reach, but still, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Yeah. I couldn’t compete with her since it’ll be a total loss for me if I did. She was everything I’m not. (not that I’m being emo or anything, I’m just stating facts) At that time, I felt very insecure. I kept wondering, what makes her that girl he desires? When infact she liked another guy, I tried to be there for him, I really did. I tried my best for him to appreciate me. Just appreciate. But everything… everything was thrown away.

I was so lost in him. I was so upset when he never liked me back. I wanted him to see right through me, but he never did. I was so upset to realize that he meant so much to me but I didn’t mean a single sh*t to him.

But you know what? Right now, I couldn’t care less.

I learned alot from him. ALOT. I learned to never make someone your everything, because when they leave, you’ll have nothing. I also learned that you should never love/like a guy who sees you as a nothing.

Thank you, I learned alot from you.

…And when the day comes that I actually start to matter to you, I’d probably be long gone by then. Just know that, at a moment in time, that’s exactly how I did.